How my writing life has changed over time

It will be 15 years this coming August since I graduated from college with my BAs in Communication Studies and Psychology and my minor in English. I am roughly 12 or fewer hours away from a BA in English. I originally went to college to be an English teacher, then switched to English with an emphasis on creative writing, and later moved to Communication Studies and Psychology.

During one of my creative writing classes, I had a horrible professor who destroyed my confidence in my skills and myself. This happened alongside being newly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety. All of those things combined made me believe that I wasn’t a good enough writer and that, due to medication, I would never be a writer—because, in my mind, crazy = brilliant (I even have a username: brilliantlycrazy). At that point, I decided I would never be a writer and changed my college career. It took me many years to feel comfortable calling myself a writer and even longer to realize that during all those years I claimed I wasn’t writing, I actually was.

1990s and 2000s

This is where my love of writing started. I have been a voracious reader since I learned how to read. After meeting Louis Sachar in elementary school, I decided that I wanted to be a writer. I spent most of my childhood and early college years writing everything from poetry to short stories to essays. If I wasn’t reading, participating in my church community, or involved in extracurricular activities, I was always writing and telling stories.

2007-2009

During this time, I swore I wasn’t a writer because I wasn’t producing novels, short stories, or poetry. However, I was writing world and character backstories in a game called Second Life. I was also writing super spicy role-play scenes in the game—and I even made real money doing it!

2009-2013

I didn’t do any writing at this time. Second Life had gone by the wayside, I had to focus on finishing school, and I was consistently taking my meds, which made me think I couldn’t be creative. I hadn’t yet learned how to harness my creativity in a healthy and safe way.

2013

I wrote my first full-length novel during a novel-writing month that shall not be named—what I considered my first real writing since 2007. This novel was terrible, and I hope it never sees the light of day.

2014-2019

I didn’t do any writing during this time, even though I talked a lot about wanting to be a writer. I had two kids, moved houses, lived in a camper, and survived working for a huge tech company that people buy from often on their website.

2019

After some prodding from a friend who bought me a year-long membership to MasterClass, I began writing again—mainly flash fiction and short stories. I also took several classes through Gotham Writers and completed assignments there.

2020

This is the year I wrote my second full-length novel—the one I am now revising. I will say the novel is not that great, but it has good bones.

2020–Present

I’ve written two more full-length novels, half a dozen short stories, many small writing prompt scenes, and more. Over the last few years, I have really focused on learning the craft of writing. I don’t have the ability to go back to school, but I have taken many CE courses, scoured blogs, read craft books, and found great writing and critiquing communities. I finally feel like a writer.

I have been a storyteller for as long as I can remember, and in reality, I have been a writer since I first learned to write. For many years, I was angry that my writing confidence was shattered by an aspiring author who was going through the query process. Now that I am older, I can understand that he was not in a great headspace—but making fun of other writers, especially female writers, isn’t cool. He mocked me for reading romance, writing romance, and just being in love with love. I hope that he has found peace in his life, as I have in mine.

My life as a writer finally feels solid, and I am happy with where I am, ready to take on the next phases of my journey.